Heatworld's Reader's Torso - Day 1

For those of you who don't know, the Heat website http://www.heatworld.com is currently running a competition whereby readers' blokes (or the readers themselves) send in torso shots to be voted on, with the ones scoring the highest votes getting published in the mag itself.

I dunno why but whoever is voting really doesn't have a clue. On day one this fittie:

Has only got 6% of the total vote and is languishing in 3rd place! I think they show 8 men per day, and it's probably too late for this guy to make it into the mag now which is a shame. You should check out the ones who have been voted higher!!

What the f***!?

You know those guys that you see a pic of and it's just wrong to fancy them, even though they are rockin' a really hot bod? Well, have you seen the cover of GT at the moment??

His name's Kenzie - remember a rubbish chavvy boyband that had about 10 members called Blazin' Squad? He's from that - and despite the fact he still looks about 15 facially making it ever-so-wrong to find him attractive, his bod is great. I've seen a lot of comments online saying that it looks like a boy's head has been photo-shopped onto a porn star's body, and I kinda find it hard to agree, but fair play to him, he's obviously been putting in the hard work and it definitely shows.

New Year's resolution - look like Kenzie by the end of 2010 - I am going for it! Now, off to order a load of protein shakes...

A few more pics after the jump, plus one of what Kenzie looked like a few years ago when he did Celeb Big Brother. I'm sure you'll agree that he has had an amazing transformation!!

Random Eastenders Hotness

OK, so traditionally Eastenders isn't much of a hotbed of hotness, but in last night's episode Ian Beale tracked down his estranged wife Jane to a house she is apparently sharing with a bunch of hot rugby players - the story goes that Christian used to live with them. I bet he bloody loved it, especially when one of them looks like this:

Now, given the choice - would you rather live with Ian Beale in Albert Square, or live with a group of hot rugby players? Why do I even need to ask this question?

(P.s. if you don't watch Eastenders and you don't know what I'm on about then just enjoy the hotness)

Other Customers Suggested

So nice of them to recommend the healing power of The Bible! (click to see full pic)

I especially like the Hitler recommendation too!

Check out the tags given to the first entry in this list:

I'm especially loving the 'amazon fail' and 'child abuse' tags.

Who's that guy?

Apologies for the short intermission (though I don't think anyone actually reads this shit!)

Just wondering...who is this??

You can't see below the waist as it's very much NSFW but it's all good.

There's really only one word to describe this man...WOOF!

2012

So 2012 is the big blockbuster film out at the moment, and I thought the trailer looked pretty good so decided to check it out.


Well, it's alright. It's definitely too long, coming in at about 2.5 butt-numbing hours, but apart from that it is fairly entertaining if you like disaster movies, and seeing things get smashed up. It was more entertaining than Transformers 2, put it that way!


Not much in the way of eye-candy in the film, though the guy playing the Russian pilot was ridiculously good looking. I've since searched for this name and discovered he is called Johann Urb, he was in a film with Paris Hilton but we shouldn't hold that against him. Quite weird as he's really not my usual type that I like, I almost never find blond guys attractive (probably because I am) but when he looks like this, the handsomeness is impossible to deny:

Life

In case you're not watching it, you really must catch up with the David Attenborough-narrated nature show Life on BBC1 @ 9pm on Mondays (catch up on BBC iPlayer if you've missed any).


The footage is truly amazing, and it's brilliant the way they weave stories around the stuff they get. The most recent episode focused on insects, and the way they are so highly adapted for their own ecological niche is fascinating - insects that squirt acid! It's just like in Alien. Except, not quite so much Ripley.


It's great to see licence-fee money spent wisely on something like this, worth every penny.


Anyway another show I recommend on a Monday @ 8.30pm on BBC2 is Miranda, a sitcom from Miranda Hart who you will recognise from loads of other comedy shows. The unique twist on this show is that she breaks 'the fourth wall' and talks directly to the audience at certain points, with random asides and observations. It works much better than the little segments that were in the Jessica Stevenson/Hynds vehicle 'According to Bex'. There's plenty of laughs and she has an amazing knack for physical comedy. I think it's a fun, fresh and quirky show and have really been enjoying it. Give that woman a Bafta now!


And that's what I've mostly been watching this week.

Weird Crush

Every year Heat magazine (yes I read Heat, get over it) publishes the results of their 'Weird Crush' survey where the readers vote for guys they find attractive, even though they are not 'conventional' hotties.


Well, the past few years each of the guys from Top Gear have won (why?? they are all hideous!) but this year, I hope I'm not spoiling it for anyone by revealing, the winner is none other than mentalist showman/wizard Derren Brown:

Now, the funny thing is I was watching one of his DVDs the other day (An Evening of Wonders) and I was thinking to myself, you know what, there's something about him...

Maybe it's his mental trickery to convince everyone that he's a hot wizard? Who knows, but I think he's a worthy Weird Crush 2009 winner.

What is more funny is that it recently 'came out' that Derren actually has more in common with Gandalf than just his magical powers - yes, Derren is one of the team, a full-on card-carrying homosexualist. Yay for well-liked famous gays!

He made a comment in Heat that he sometimes gets chatted up by cute girls but not very often by cute boys, so he's obviously on the lookout. So if you ever see him out and about, why not try hitting on him? You'll probably wake up the following morning with a sore bum and no recollection of the previous night other than a vague feeling of shame, but hey, you never know, Derren might be handy to have around in the boyfriend stakes too - you could get him to convince people of all sorts of things and basically it would be like dating one of the X-Men. Result!

So, the question must next be - who is YOUR weird crush? I'm dying to know!

Who's that boy?

Since I don't really go to gay bars and clubs these days, but I still like to dip my toes into what's going on in gay world from time to time, I occasionally read the digital versions of the free gay magz like Boyz and QX.

So I'm checking out the last few issues of QX and I see this cover:



INSANE MAN HOTNESS! What a drop-dead gorgeously handsome guy. Fit bod, too.

So I look at the inside cover page but all it says is pics by shootmeup.co.uk, not the name of the model. Does anyone know who this model is, and where there are more pictures to admire?

Similarly, although I'm not a fan of the band, when checking out the CDs recently I can't help but notice the greatest hits package from Frankie Goes to Hollywood, titled Frankie Say Greatest.

The reason I can't help but notice is because it looks like this:



UNBELIEVABLE SUPER DANCE PARTY HUNK!

I mean, those arms... those ARMS! I think they are just about the nearest to perfect arms I've ever seen. But who is he? WHO IS HE??? We must find out - answers please!

Where are all the men in this town?

"Fresh...I'm so fresh and I'm so clean, got the lips and got the skin, got the skin, got this thing..."

I am really loving the new album from Columbian pop superstar Shakira! I've liked her ever since she burst onto the English-speaking music charts with Whenever, Wherever - the single 'She Wolf' was a fun, quirky tune and the She Wolf album is great too, I definitely recommend it!

By the way, the title of this post and the lyric above are from the track 'Men in This Town' which is one of my favourites so far.

She was also fantastic on the X Factor this weekend, performing the new single 'Did It Again' - no, not the Britney song! She was much, much better than Britney last year...in fact I think she gave the best performance of any of them so far this series, plus she gave coherent answers to lil Dermot's questions - and English isn't even her first language - show 'em how it's done, Shaks!

One thing I like about her too is that you never see her falling out of clubs and flashing her hippo's yawn in the gossip mags. She also does a lot of work for charity!

Let's hope she does concert dates in London next year - I'll be there!

Remember, Remember...

And I along with hundreds of other mortals arrived in the local field at the alloted time, paid my entrance fee and took up position in good view of the soon-to-be bonfire.

I must admit that although I wasn't really bothered about seeing fireworks, once they started I quite enjoyed it. It did take far too long to get going though! Standing in a field in the cold is not high on my list of 'Exciting things to do on a Saturday night'.

So what is it about fireworks, and big fires, that draws in the crowds? I suppose I can sort of get the big fire thing - after all, most people have a strange fascination with fire, perhaps a remnant from our caveman ancestry. There is something incredibly primal and stirring about watching a huge pile of junk go up in flames, I must admit. You kind of stare at the fire and it seems like something alive, like it's whispering dark secrets in your ear, and you have all these urges to chuck stuff into it and watch it be totally consumed. Well, if it's good enough for moths...

One slight drawback was that the embers from the fire were drifting up and towards the crowd so there were chunks of ash continually dropping down - lucky none that were scorching!

The fireworks themselves were ok, not the best I've seen but reasonably varied. I don't know what the appeal of them is really, other than they are pretty. I do think that someone should come up with some more exciting ones and vary the patterns/colours a bit more, but then why spend time on something that burns away to nothing in seconds?

After the display it was time for the X Factor accompanied by hot dogs. I didn't think it was a particularly impressive show but then there's not that many singers in it this year that I like. Stacey is by far my favourite - I'll be voting for her from now on to ensure she stays safe!

Guyswithiphones - fresh meat!

I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I AM DOING THIS FROM MY PHONE AND IT'S COMING OUT WEIRD! WILL TRY AND EDIT LATER, MEANWHILE TRY AND GUESS MY FAVOURITE!

SHAME I HAD TO CROP ONE OF THE PICS TO MAKE IT DECENT AND KEEP THIS BLOG PG-13, IT'SWORTH SEEING THR ORIGINAL!

Cruised?

And I'm back from a totally frickin' awesome holiday! Relaxed like an utter mo' fo' and spent lots of time sleeping, reading, swimming, eating and generally enjoying myself, plus obviously lots of lovely quality time with the boyf.

I'll have a few holiday-related posts (plus possibly some pics once I've sorted through them all) but one story is something that happened about halfway through the holiday.

There was a guy at the hotel complex that I had seen a day or so before and thought we was quite attractive (good looking, nice body) which I suppose stuck out because there was quite a lack of hotness there generally (not so for the boyf drooling over a number of the locals and staff, hehe). Anyway, I was in the pool one day when I spotted him standing over by the bar, and he seemed to be looking right at me - the pool was fairly big/sprawling and I was making my rounds, but it seemed like every time I looked back at the bar, he was staring in my direction.

He wandered off at one point and then a short time later I needed the loo, so I got out of the pool and headed for the toilets and realised he was lingering just outside. I went in, walked to a cubicle and shut the door, as I was shutting it I realised he was coming in. Finished up, and when I came out he was using one of the urinals. I went over to the sink to wash up and realised I needed to blow my nose, so I turned back around and he was right there, staring at me pretty hard, on his way to the sink. I headed for the cubicle, got some tissue and blew my nose. Meanwhile, he's at the sink washing up. Then I headed back towards the sink and he turned around, gave me another really intense look, then when I was at the sink he went back to the cubicle I'd just been in, but sort of moving really s-l-o-w-l-y with a couple of surreptitious backwards glances.

I kinda got the impression from this that he wanted me to join him in the cubicle.

However the problems with this are obvious:

1. I love my boyf and would never cheat on him, and certainly not for a sort-of hot random guy on holiday
2. Even if I were single I wouldn't have gone for it, it was way too public and I think shenanigans in a toilet environment are pretty minging.

So obviously nothing happened, I left and didn't see him the rest of the day. I did see him a couple of times over the next few days and he gave me a few looks but that was it - I was really confused though because when he wasn't on his own, he seemed to be with a woman, I couldn't tell if they were actually a couple though. But it made me think that I'd misread the whole situation and maybe he wasn't cruising me! I have no idea now, it was all rather odd - I'm so not used to being cruised, not going to places anymore that would put me in that position, so perhaps I just made up the whole thing. I didn't say anything to the boyf because I didn't want him to feel funny about someone checking me out if it was nothing, and I wouldn't have done anything anyway!

Still to come... food, whale watching, fish, waves, trunks!

Random Internet Hotness #2

Dunno who these guys are, but they are random internet hotties, again if you recognise yourself and don't want your pic on here let me know!

GWiP Wednesday

Here's a couple of pics - those annoying sort of guys who have really young boyish faces, but decent manly bodies. Sort of incongruent.

New Music

[b]Beverley Knight[/b] - 100%

I've liked Beverley for years...I think she's got an amazing voice and one of the best British singers we've ever produced. I was a bit 'meh' about her last album, but she's back on form with this one! Great production, nice mix of up-tempo and slower tracks, all showcasing that smooth, soulful voice - absolute quality.

Play/Repeat - Beautiful Night - lovely song!



[b]Nerina Pallot - The Graduate[/b]

Nerina's 2nd album 'Fires' was a revelation, and I immediately went out and bought her 1st album, 'Dear Frustrated Superstar' which I also love. This is her 3rd album, haven't listened to it much but what I have heard sounds great, and I love the title of one of the songs, 'When Did I Become Such a Bitch'. This is 'Real Late Starter:



[b]Paloma Faith - Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?[/b]

Lots of comparisons to Amy Winehouse and Duffy for this girl, who has a quirky look and sound and has exploded into the limelight with a banging debut album. You might have heard her single 'Stone Cold Sober' which is a great introduction, but the whole album is cool, smooth and great listening.

Play/Repeat - New York

When Bad Tattoos Happen to Good Bodies - #1

Sometimes a good tattoo will really set off a physique. Sometimes... it just detracts from it. Sadly, that's the case here, with new Randy Blue model Cayden Ross. He's got a fantastic body...the ink...not so much. Shame.

Saturday Guyswithiphones

2 today... some might say the 2nd one is a bit bobfoc, but still sorta-cute I think...plus a body like that makes up for all other lesser areas...absolutely killer chest and arms!

Random Internet Hotness

Scouring the internet so you don't have to!

(Note to self: really must aim for less man-flesh related posts in future!)

Aussiebum Surf Shorts

Just ordered these:



Again, sadly model not included. I think his body is perfect! I would strangle puppies to look like that.

Anyway, I'm really hoping they are going to be delivered BEFORE I head off on holiday, though it's not guaranteed. We'll see...

The idea is I've got my skimpy pair for sunbathing, my square-cut trunks for general swimming, and these surf shorts for watersports. So then I'll be pretty much set!

Failblog

I love Failblog - hilarious!

Discretion Fail

Crash Course - So Far...

Francis: "I hate helicopters."

Yes, the Left 4 Dead DLC has arrived and I have it, and played it! The idea of it is to bridge the gap between the end of original campaign 'No Mercy' - when you escape the roof of the hospital via helicopter, with the start of 'Death Toll.' Basically, the pilot of the chopper is infected and the copter crashes, leaving you with the usual problem of lots and lots of undead nasties trying to tear your limbs off.

First impressions... hmm, I haven't played Left 4 Dead for a while and I did find the two levels that make up this new campaign quite tough! The environments were quite sprawling and it was confusing knowing which way to go - I try to cast my mind back to when I first played the game and I guess it was the same back then when playing a new level, but I've played all the standard Left 4 Dead levels so many times now I know the layout completely.

I only played it on Single Player so I could get used to it, so I haven't tried it on Live yet and I haven't played Versus, which I think is where it will really come into it's own. I must admit I didn't really like the finale, it felt like the place to defend wasn't quite as well designed as the original levels - but I did like the fact you had to activate the generator twice, so couldn't rely on camping!

In the first level of the campaign, I got 2 witches and a tank! Harsh!

I will aim to have a go with actual live humans asap - oh, and I was playing on Normal and still died once! I really must be rusty!

Daily Guyswithiphones Pic 1

Ok, since there seems to be at least one hottie per day cropping up on Guyswithiphones, I might as well make it a daily feature! I'm quite liking the pierced nips on this guy - normally difficult to pull off. But he is a bit cocky looking. Mind you, with a bod like that, I guess it's justified!

Another Guyswithiphones Post

OK, OK so I am a little obsessed, but it's an easy thing to check daily on the phone in the morning.

This one I just had to share... very nice chest, don't you agree? I want pecs like this!!

Crash Course Has Landed! (Left 4 Dead)

So today the DLC expansion (that's downloadable content for all you non-geeks) was released for Left 4 Dead.

I will be downloading it probably on Thursday, off Xbox Live, and then having a good old crack. I haven't actually played L4D for a while so this will be a nice kick start in the run up to the release of Left 4 Dead 2 in November. Annoying that Xbox owners have to pay for this content when PC gamers are getting it for free, but such is life. I think it's only going to work out being about a fiver, and I'm sure to get hours of fun from it.

Can't wait to see what is in store for Zoey, Francis, Louis and Bill - let's lock 'n' load!

Oh Daddy!

You know you shouldn't, but sometimes you just see a pic and it's just hot/nasty/sexy. Perhaps it's all that extra testosterone I'm getting?

File under: random internet forum pic.

More Guys with iPhones

Well since my top 10 Guyswithiphones post, for some reason there's been a huge influx of hotties posting pics and they need to be seen!

I'm going out this evening but if I get home at a reasonable hour I'll post up a selection...

UPDATE

OK, so these are the late entries into the Guyswithiphones Hall of Fame (my own customised list, you understand). A good selection I hope you agree. It seems as time goes on, more and more guys are submitting their pics...which means more perving opportunities per day! Brilliant.

I've had this one. He's a screamer.

I've had this one too. Very kinky - into dirty talk, you know what I mean.

This one begged me but I turned him down. The shower curtain killed my buzz.

I had this one but he has a fatal problem - can't stop pulling his shorts off. You can't take him anywhere - especially not the library.

I had this one 3 times a day, every day, for a week. Then discarded him like a used tissue, he was a sad hollow husk of a hunk by the end. (P.s. this one is my fave but I heard he's not an amateur but a porn actor for Hot House - I think it's better when it's unknowns)

This one reminds me of someone facially, can't think who. I like the shape and proportions of his body, I think I will look similar to this given another few months of hard graft.

So there we have it, some more hand-picked hotties - who do you like?

The X Factor

OK so now the horrendously 'Britain's Got Talent'-style auditions are over, it's time to get interested in the X Factor!

However, I have to say that there's not that many of them I particularly like!

Boys

None of them particularly stand out for me, no idea really who will be picked for the live shows. I've seen Ethan in real life and he's very good looking, I liked his original audition too, so purely based on that I'd pick him for this category:

Girls

Again, none of them really stand out for me! I think they have ok voices but let's be honest, none of them is the next Leona/Alexandra! I suppose my pick is more to do with personality here, I think the blond Stacey Solomon is quite funny in a dippy, ditzy kind of way so I'll go for her.

Over 25s

I think this is the strongest group this year! They are all good singers and all have quite different voices and styles. The one I really don't like is Danyl. I think he's so over-the-top and really comes across as quite false, just too earnest. I wouldn't be surprised to see him go through but I don't like him! I like the guy with the afro, Jamie - I hope he gets through because I think he offers something a bit different. I also really like the guy that was in One True Voice, Daniel Pearce. I think he's a brilliant singer although he needs to ditch the dodgy mohawk, stat!

Groups

Don't rate any of them particularly. How those twins got through this far, I just don't know, but I won't be surprised to see them in the finals. They are rubbish singers, very very amateurish, immature idiots, talentless and rude. I think a couple of the girl groups are ok, but I don't fancy their chances as traditionally they don't do well!

Who do you like, and who is going to go through?

Some Pics

Just some randomly-selected hotness to rock your hard drive...
(Alex O Laughlin, Ben Cohen, Rav Wilding)